


Oh How I Hate This Red String Of Fate

by CalamityK



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Adding tags, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Happy Ending, Harry has the sight, Heavy Angst, It sucks alot, Louis in Denial, M/M, Red String of Fate, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Build, Slow In General, Soul Bond, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, There's so much angst i'm not even entirely sorry, meaning he can see the strings, the perrie/louis thing is brief and essential to the plot so sorry if that freaks anyone out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-09 16:59:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8900470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalamityK/pseuds/CalamityK
Summary: Harry thought being able to see people’s strings die would be the worst thing about his gift, until at twenty-two he finally met the other end of his own.---------Or that soulmate AU where Harry can see the red strings of fate that tie everyone together.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArtInMotion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtInMotion/gifts).



> : Prompt: Soulmate AU where your born with, or get, some kind of identifying marking(s). When you meet/touch your soulmate, there is a bond. You are able to feel any strong emotions that your soulmate feels. Either Harry or Louis (preferably Harry, but it doesn't really matter) is depressed.
> 
> I bastardized this prompt so badly i'm sorry. But it got away from me in the end. I'm sorry. I still left key elements but instead of marks they have red strings of fate!  
> Thanks to my beta [SuspiciousButtons](suspiciousbuttons.tumblr.com)
> 
> I want to thank everyone in the One Direction fandom for supporting my fics throughout the years. And I want to thank the exchange for being so patient with me while i tried to finish this fic on time. I've had the prompt almost all year and i've worked on this steadily even after i left the fandom.  
>   
> This will be my very last One Direction fic ever. And i wish I could be happier with it. My beta tells me it's good, but i lost my passion for writing it and pushed so hard to finish. It was a wild ride and i think it's the perfect end note for my seven years with the fandom.  
> All of that being said, the news of Louis's mother's death in real life prompted me to change the way certain parts of this fic worked. I was sad to hear she passed and I wanted to reflect that in the fic, so the parts where she is mentioned she is mentions in past tense.  
> Disclaimer: i do not own one direction and i did not write this for, nor will i ever, use it for profit.

_“To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.”_

_― Federico García Lorca, Blood Wedding and Yerma_

_\---------------_

Every so often someone is born with _the sight_. A special kind of vision is bestowed upon them, not something out of movies where when someone has “the sight” they can see dead folks, and not the scientific kind where people can see extra colors, but rather they hold the ability to see the lines and webs woven around them by fate itself. The little reds strings that tie those meant to be together to one another. Everyone knows about them, but so few can see them.

Some embrace this gift, use it to help others find their soulmates, even use it for personal gain and profit. Others think of it as more of a curse, to be able to know when people are meant to be together and to know when they aren’t, to be able to see your own string, to be able to untie and reconnect people on a whim without them even being aware. Yet, everyone wishes they could see the strings, not realizing what a burden it is.

Harry hates it. He thinks it’s dangerous to toy with fate, _knows_ it’s dangerous. He can remember the first time he realized he had the sight, and the first time he truly realized the depth of what he could see. He’d followed the string tied between his parents as a child, wrapped his hands in it as a baby and looped it around the legs of the kitchen table when he was old enough to walk. He stretched it out, playing with it, endlessly curious about what it was, and what it was for. One day, when he was about four, he heard the adults talking about the strings, something about soulmates, and someone who could see them going on a rampage and cutting a bunch. He didn’t understand in his child mind. Only really heard the mention of the strings, and the cutting. He didn’t know any better when the idea sparked in his head. He remembers how he climbed up the chair in his mother’s office and stole her scissors, remembers sneaking into the other room to find a bit of the string, remembers slipping it in between the blades and cutting it right in two.

It changed color; dulled to a withered brown from the bright red it had been. He was too young to know to tie it back together, too young to know there was a time limit on when he could safely reconnect it, or what would happen if he didn’t. It wasn’t until many years and a long divorce later that he realized. He broke his parent’s soul bond, and they haven’t loved each other since.

When he was sixteen, his parents were in the same room for the first time in years, and he tried to tie their strings back together when they weren’t looking. He tried over and over but it never stuck. He learned later that strings can hardly ever be reattached to the original thread once severed, not even the gifted are strong enough to repair a broken piece of fate.

Harry thought being able to see people’s strings die would be the worst thing about his gift, until at twenty-two he finally met the other end of his own.

\--------------

 

“So, you’re positive my string is connected to Liam?”

Harry looks across the booth at his flatmate, Zayn. He’s wearing an orange beanie to cover up his new buzz cut and it’s clashing terribly with the green tank hanging across his lithe frame. Even dressed like a dumbass he manages to be one of the most beautiful people Harry knows. “I am positive your string is attached to Liam.”

Zayn sighs, “I just don’t know how to approach him you know? I can’t just walk up to him and be like ‘Hey mate I know we’ve kind of been friends for our entire lives and you’ve liked girls for most of it but I’m 100% your soulmate.’ He’d laugh in my face.”

Harry takes a sip of his tea, it’s getting cold. “People do it every day.”

“I’m not ‘people’,” Zayn retorts, “I don’t know how to deal with having a soul bond. I don’t know how to deal with _knowing I have a soul bond.”_

“Everyone has them,” Harry says, “It could be worse you know?”

He stares down into his tea. It could be much worse.

Zayn waves his hand under Harry’s nose, “Don’t turn into a pool of self-pity right now, Haz. It’s not the time.”

“I wasn’t.”

“You were.” Zayn counters, “You do it every single time anyone mentions the strings. You know if you wanted to find the person on the other end of yours I’d help you, right?”

“Zayn, we’ve been over this,” Harry begins.

“I know, I know, you don’t want to talk about it. If I didn’t know better I’d think your string was cut.” Zayn drains the last of the coffee from his own mug and slides it toward the edge of the table signaling to the waiter that it’s empty. “Or that you know who it was attached to and are acting stupider than I am.”

“You’re not stupid, Zayn.” Harry says, “You do need to tell him though.”

He can see Zayn’s focus shift from the topic of Harry’s string back to his own and he wants to sigh in relief. He refuses to talk about his own string, even with his closet friends. It’s not cut, far from it. It seems to glow brighter every single day. Harry’s not worried about the other end either. He knows where it goes. He just doesn’t like to think about it, hurts too much when he does.

Zayn sighs again, “Whatever, we better go. Perrie, is going to murder us if we’re late.”

Harry nods, setting his tea cup down, grabbing his jacket from the booth and making to follow Zayn out of the café.

\---------

“You losers are late _. Again_.”

Zayn walks through the door before Harry, “Pez, we are at least fifteen minutes earlier than we were last time, and at least twenty minutes earlier than you told us to be.”

The blonde girl pouts at him. “You better not have eaten ‘cause I have been cooking since two.” She says, as she turns and stalks through the house.

Harry walks across the threshold after Zayn and removes his boots and jacket. “We haven’t eaten, Perrie, don’t fret. Stopped for coffee and didn’t even get a pastry. You should be proud.”

Perrie has already disappeared through the door to the kitchen, but she shouts out. “Good, I won’t have anything ruining today’s dinner.”

Zayn snorts, “What’s so special about today’s dinner? Did you finally learn how to cook something that’s not chicken?”

They step into the kitchen to see her by the stove, glaring at Zayn and holding a spatula. “I like chicken.”

“I like chicken too.” Harry says, “What kind is it today? Fried or lemon pepper?”

“Fried.” She says as she turns back to the stove. “Its not the food that’s special, boys.”

“Then what is?” Zayn asks, he pulls out a stool and sits at the kitchen island.

Perrie huffs, “I can’t tell you yet! Even though I’m bursting to! We have to wait on Louis and the others to get here okay?”

Zayn seems to accept this as an answer and they fall quiet. Harry’s focus falls to the red string that looks like it’s wrapped around Perrie’s waist. He’s never talked to her about it. Unlike Zayn she’s never asked who her string was attached to. She knows Harry can see them, but she doesn’t want to know where hers goes. Says she’s happy where she is. Harry’s seen it stretch occasionally, even saw the guy it connected to once when they were all out together. Hasn’t seen him since though. He’s never felt it worth mentioning.

They all hear the front door open at once, and the loud chatter of three voices follow it down the hallway. Harry turns to greet the rest of his friends as Liam comes into view first, he’s all broad shoulders, brown hair and dad jeans. The polar opposite of Zayn, but the string between them starts thrumming as he takes a seat at the end of the island beside his soulmate. “God it smells good in here, Pez. I’m starving. Niall kept us at the shop and extra hour looking at golf clubs.”

Niall snorts as he’s entering the kitchen, “You were in the shoe store the whole time, Liam. You didn’t even notice.” The Irishman seats himself across from Harry and smiles. “Well, Harry, feel like I haven’t seen you in bloody weeks, mate. Where have you been?”

Harry goes to answer, but he’s cut off by a voice behind him. “I suspect he’s been in class, Niall. Same as the rest of us.”

Louis steps around the island and walks straight up to Perrie. Harry watches him, noticing the way his brown feathery hair falls across his forehead as he leans in to kiss her cheek. “Sorry we’re late, babe. Blame those two.”

Perrie turns her head and kisses him on the nose, “You’re not late, food’s just now done.”

Harry has a headache setting in. Now that everyone is gathered in the room, the buzz in his skull begins, everyone’s strings are glowing in his peripheral. Well, everyone’s but Niall’s. His string disappeared when his soulmate died. He was just a kid when it happened so he’d been able to adjust. They don’t talk about it. Harry pushes both his thoughts and the buzzing to the back of his mind the way he always does.

Zayn clears his throat beside him, “Okay, Pez, spill.”

Niall looks at him, “Spill what?”

“She said she had something to tell us, but we had to wait for you lot to show up first.” Zayn says. “We’re all here now.”

Perrie turns the knobs on the stove off and turns toward them smiling. She’s practically bouncing on her toes. “Okay well, it’s Louis’s news too so.”

Louis wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her flush against him. Every one sitting around the island looks at them anxiously. Harry bites the inside of his lip. He has a feeling their news won’t be as good as they’re implying.

“Perhaps, we should just let them guess it. Figure it out on their own.” Louis says.

Perrie grins but bats him on the chest playfully, “Don’t be cruel, Lou! I’ve been busting to tell them.”

“Then tell them, sweet.” Louis releases her waist and moves to sit down beside Niall, still grinning like a madman.

Perrie bounces over and thrusts her left hand into the middle of the island, leaning all the way over it and bouncing side to side. “We’re getting married!!”

There’s a collective silence, as everyone looks at the small princess cut ring on her finger. Harry’s head throbs between his eyes.

Liam finally shifts, “That’s….That’s great, guys. Holy crap.” He says, but his face has a worried pinch to it. Niall and Zayn sputter out congratulations but they have the same look.

Harry looks at Perrie. She’s beaming, she doesn’t even notice the strain of everyone’s voice. Louis does though. His grin has faded to a pinched line and he’s looking straight at Harry. It takes Harry a moment to realize he’s waiting on him to speak, waiting on him to congratulate them. He’s probably remembering how Harry had the same reaction when Perrie introduced him as her boyfriend; unwelcoming, uncomfortable, suddenly miserable. Harry wills his mouth to move but nothing happens. Louis is one of his best friends. Has been for a while.

Them dating had went over a lot better than this, Harry had held his tongue better then. Everyone was quick to welcome Louis into their group, make Perrie happy. People dated all the time, it didn’t matter if their strings matched. Marriage is a different story; _their_ marriage is a different story. Harry feels a little sick.

Harry let his eyes move to the string around Perrie’s waist again. It doesn’t meet Louis’s, Louis’s doesn’t meet hers. Their strings don’t match.

“Your strings don’t match.” He says it before he can stop himself. His eyes going to Perrie’s. He watches her face fall. He doesn’t look at Louis. He doesn’t want to meet the angry gaze he knows is there. He can’t look at him. “I…I’m sorry.” He stutters. He moves his chair back, and stumbles trying to get up, his eyes never leaving Perrie’s face. “I’m sorry. I think, I should go.”

He stumbles out, warring with the feeling in his stomach. He feels Louis’s eyes on his as he walks away.

\-----------

Harry is lying face down on the couch later when Zayn comes home. He doesn’t even raise his head as his flatmate approaches the couch.

“Haz,” Zayn starts, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Harry says nothing. He just buries his face deeper into the couch.

“If it makes you feel any better we were all thinking it. It’s not your fault okay?” Zayn says.

“Except,” Harry says, muffled by the couch cushion, “I ruined their announcement.”

“You can see the strings, Harry, they don’t have any right to hate you over stating the fucking obvious. They already knew their strings don’t match, okay? All of us have known this since they started dating.” Zayn is hovering over Harry and Harry can feel it.

“I just want to go to sleep, Zayn. I have a headache.” Harry says.

“You always have a headache.”

Harry raises his head and looks Zayn dead in the eyes, “Yes, I do. Because every damn day, no matter where I am, or what I’m doing, I have this cursed buzzing in the middle of my head telling me that there are _strings_ everywhere.” He spits. “I understand more and more every day why people snap and go on rampages and cut a bunch of them. It’s just so they’ll stop the damn buzzing. I’d cut every damn one if I could.”

Zayn’s face softens. He doesn’t give Harry a look of pity, just kind of eases the stare he’s been drilling down at him. “Is that what you did, Haz? Did you cut yours?”

Harry sighs. “No, Zayn. We’ve talked about this. I don’t _want_ to talk about it.” Harry rolls his face back into the couch.

Zayn doesn’t move. “I read that sometimes people whose strings get cut, they get kind of depressed. I know I ask about it a lot. I just want to make sure I can be there for you if that’s the case, Harry. You just worry me. That’s all.”

Harry squints his eyes as hard as he can. He really wants to scream into the void right now, instead he rolls all the way over, keeping his eyes shut. “You can’t cut your own string, Zayn. No one can, not even the people with the sight. We can only cut other people’s. So like, if I wanted to cut my string I’d have to cut my soulmate’s end of it. I don’t know, it’s fucking complicated. Everything about the damn thing is so _complicated_.”

Harry lets out a deep breath. He hasn’t told Zayn the story about cutting his parent’s strings. He still thinks about it every day. The way their faces had fallen that day, Zayn was right about the depression, it had been so hard for them. They’d forgiven him of course, once he was old enough to tell them. He’d only been a child, and they didn’t know he had the sight so how would they have taught him what to do with it before the incident. It’ll never stop haunting him.

Zayn stands over him quietly for another moment before he speaks again. “I’m going to tell, Liam.”

Harry opens his eyes at that. “Really?” He asks calmly.

“Really.” Zayn says, “You’re right, I _need_ to tell him, plus,” he pauses, “I really don’t fancy seeing him end up with someone else, you know? Like…seeing Lou and Pez today, it really kicked me in the gut. _That could be Liam_ , announcing to us that he’s marrying somebody, and there I’d sit. There I’d fucking sit, knowing full and well his string was attached to me, and I’d have to keep my mouth shut at that point.”

“I’d probably tell him, you know, before that happened.” Harry says. He means it.

“I know, but I need to be the one to tell him, you’ve told me that over and over. I’ve known him since he was five. I’ve loved him since we were sixteen. Whether he’s happy about the soul bond or not I don’t want him to go have it cut by someone without knowing who is on the other end first.”

“Do you really think he’d do that?” Harry asks, wincing at the thought, “Have it cut?” It’s a common practice, done by those who want to be with someone of their choosing. They have the bond string cut and immediately tied to the new person. It’s not a true soul bond, sometimes it doesn’t even stick. And always, _always_ it leaves someone on the other end sad and broken. The thought makes Harry nauseated.

“If he met someone else and hadn’t discovered his soul bond with me, yeah I think he’d get it cut.” Zayn says, “I mean Louis and Perrie are probably going to do it and have theirs tied to each other, so their marriage will be less strained.”

Harry feels the words sink in, they sink right to his core and ache. “Why would they do that?”

“You said it yourself, Haz.” Zayn says, “Their strings don’t match.”

\-----------

Harry avoids Perrie and Louis. He doesn’t even pretend he wants to see them. It works for about two weeks.

Then he has to go with Zayn to tell Liam, and of course afterwards, if things go well, he’s dragging Harry to Perrie and Louis’s for dinner. He threatened Harry’s life basically. Told him that he’s going to go see them; that they’d been asking about him, wanting to talk to him.

Right now, they’re on their way to Liam’s apartment. Harry doesn’t really want to be there for this either, but Zayn needs the support. The closer they get the brighter Zayn’s string gets, as it always does when he’s near Liam.

By the time they’re knocking on his door its thrumming so hard Harry thinks it could shatter.

Liam answers the door in his boxers, yawning, “What on earth are you guys doing here?” He pauses, “ _Shit_ , did I oversleep? Am I late for dinner?”

Zayn laughs nervously beside Harry, “Nah, Li, You’re good. We actually,” He pauses to swallow, “we actually came to talk to you about something.”

Liam gets a quizzical look on his face, almost worried, “Well… come in, I guess. The place is a mess.”

He leads them over to his living room, and Harry observes that there’s not really anything that could be considered a mess as he sits down in the arm chair to the side. This allows Zayn the only spot left, _beside Liam._ Zayn looks like he’s about to fly to pieces as he takes a seat.

Liam shifts awkwardly and pulls on a shirt that’s hanging over the back of the couch. “The last time someone said they had to tell me something they told us all they were getting married, I certainly hope you two aren’t getting hitched.” Liam says and laughs nervously, looking between Harry and Zayn.

Harry laughs outright which earns a glare from Zayn. “As if! I’m out of Zayn’s league!” He jokes. He can sense that Liam was attempting to lighten the mood, but Zayn looks tenser.

“Actually,” Zayn starts, “It has to do with soul bonds.” His voice is shaking and he looks like he’s going to throw up.

Liam’s eye brows knit together, “Louis and Perrie’s?”

“No,” Zayn says, swallowing, “Um…more like mine and yours.”

Zayn visibly holds his breath as soon as the words are out of his mouth and Harry takes a deep breath in as well. The string between Zayn and Liam is curling around both of their legs, intertwining at such a close proximity.

Liam’s eyebrows somehow get closer together. “Yours and…mine? What do you mean?” He asks slowly, carefully.

Zayn looks at Harry instead of responding immediately and says, “So you know how Harry can uh, how he can see the strings? He has the sight.”

Liam nods.

“Well I asked him one day, about mine. ‘Cause I’d always kind of wondered where it went, and who it connected to, and if I had a soul mate. And well…I kind of asked him if he’d help me follow it, like as my guide.” Zayn is speaking rather faster than normal at this point and Liam barely looks like he’s keeping up, honestly Harry isn’t surprised. “I was expecting to have to travel, but Haz told me he knew who was on the other end of mine already. I… asked him to tell me cause he doesn’t tell if we don’t ask you know… and well.” Zayn takes a breath in, “It’s you. My string leads to you. To your string… _our_ string I guess since it’s technically just the one.” He finishes in a heap of statements.

Liam in response, looks at Harry. Eyebrows slowly going back to their place. “Where is it?” He asks.

“Huh?” Harry asks, blindsided.

“Where is it right now? Like what’s it look like? I’ve always wondered if it gets shorter or not when you’re near to your soulmate or whatever.” Liam says, his voice surprisingly steady.

Zayn is just staring at him, still barely breathing.

Harry looks down at their string, “Well it doesn’t get shorter per say. Like it’s still quite long it’s just, wrapped around your legs kind of?” He squints at it ‘cause it’s glowing so damn brightly, “It gets brighter too. Lights up like the fucking sun when you guys are near each other. S’why I always get a headache near you.”

Liam nods, half a smile forming as he looks back at Zayn. “It’s you then?”

Zayn nods once, a bit shakily. “Yeah.”

Liam looks back at Harry, “Do you think we could have a bit to ourselves? Like I don’t want to kick you out or anything, but…” He trails off.

Harry gets up, “Yeah, you guys should talk. I can walk back to mine and Zayn’s.”

Zayn turns quickly, looking a smidge less nervous, “I’ll be by to get you before dinner.” He sends Harry a look that says ‘you better not abandon your promise’ and Harry just nods as he goes.

He knows he’s not getting out of it.

\--------

Zayn shows up more than an hour later. He looks disheveled and a bit like he’s cried. Harry’s first thought is that it had somehow gone wrong, even though Liam hadn’t looked too unhappy.

“What’s up?” He says.

Zayn’s face breaks into a sloppy grin. “He kissed me.”

Harry snorts and turns back to the game he’d been watching on television. “Good lord, I thought you’d been crying.”

Zayn shakes his head, “We talked about it. Like…a lot about it. He said he’d always felt something toward me but that he kept himself from thinking about it too much. You know how he is.” Zayn’s smile widens, “Then he asked if we could maybe kiss just to see what it felt like?”

Harry cocks an eyebrow, “And?”

“We didn’t stop until about fifteen minutes ago.” Zayn giggles. Literally, giggles like a giddy child, and Harry wants to laugh at it but he’s too happy for him. “Anyway, get up! Let’s go!” Zayn says motioning for Harry to get off the couch.

And just like that Harry’s happiness fades a bit.

\-----------

Dinner is…awkward. Zayn and Liam sit next to each other like always, but they don’t look at each other and they stammer over conversation. Harry doesn’t look at anyone, just sits quietly, murmuring when someone speaks to him, waiting on Zayn and Liam to decide to make their announcement, so Perrie will quit trying to make small talk with him.

Louis is seated across from him and he hasn’t said a word. Harry can feel the glare he knows is aimed at him.

When everyone finally has food on their plate and Perrie sits down on the end of the island, Zayn clears his throat. “So, I kind of have an announcement.” He says.

“ _We_ kind of have an announcement.” Liam clarifies.

Louis’s gaze is drawn temporarily from Harry allowing Harry to comfortably look up. Everyone is staring at Zayn and Liam. There’s a long silence where no one really moves to touch their food. Niall freezes with his fork halfway to his mouth.

Liam grunts and shifts on his seat. “I’ll just get right to it then, our strings lead to each other. Zayn and I, that is.” He says rather calmly and slowly allowing it to sink in. “Harry told Zayn a while back, and Zayn told me today. So we’re…uh…soulmates.”

The silence stretches on for another moment until Niall lets out a low whistle. “Fucking finally! You two have danced around each other since primary school.” And with that he shoves his fork full of lemon chicken in his mouth and returns his focus fully to his meal.

Perrie is the next to speak, “I don’t know if I can say I’m shocked?” She says, smiling. “On one hand I never really thought about it, but on the other I guess I can see you two being soulmates.”

It makes Zayn give a nervous smile, “Yeah, we’re gonna ease into it I guess.”

Liam nods, reaching for his fork, “We have a lot to figure out.”

“Well congratulations,” Louis says, drawing Harry’s attention to him. “Two big announcements this month, seems like we’re on a roll. Maybe Niall will be next.”

He’s smiling at Zayn and Liam, as he reaches over to grab Perrie’s free hand. He rubs his fingers over hers and lets it drop.

Just like that it seems like everyone returns to their meal. The awkward tension somewhat broken, but Harry still keeps his eyes trained down forcing himself to look away from everyone’s strings. The rest of dinner passes somewhat normally, with Perrie making small talk and everyone doing their best to keep up.

It’s when everyone is getting ready to leave that they corner Harry. He’s reaching for his jacket, and talking to Niall about a golf tournament when Perrie grabs his arm.

“Hey, Haz, I was wondering if you’d hang back.” She says, her eyes not meeting his directly.

He feels like he should say no, but he can’t. “Yeah. Sure.”

He places his jacket back on the hook and waves Niall goodbye before following her to the living room. Louis is seated on the couch with his elbow propped on the arm rest and he’s studiously looking away from Harry. 

Perrie goes over and sits down beside him, motioning for Harry to sit in the seat directly across from them. “We want to talk.”

Harry presses his lips together, looking at their strings in his peripheral. “I’m sorry.” He says automatically, “About the other day, I shouldn’t have said anything. Even if I have the sight it’s not my place.”

Louis snorts, “Everyone was thinking it.”

Harry can see Perrie squeeze Louis knee rather tightly, “That’s not really what we wanted to talk to you about.” She says, “We actually have something to ask you.”

“He won’t do it, Pez.” Louis spits rather harshly. “We’re wasting our time and his.”

“Hush!” She yells, looking at him harshly, “I’m going to ask him before I ask _anyone_ else.”

Harry has a feeling he knows what’s coming and he bites the inside of his lip, praying he’s wrong.

Perrie turns back to him, her face rather somber, “Haz, you’ve been one of my best friends for as long as I can remember. I know how hard it’s been for you to deal with having the sight, and I know you don’t like dealing with the strings or fate. You don’t like to talk about them and you won’t tell anyone about them unless they ask, but…” She trails off.

Louis whips his head around suddenly, “Oh, for fucks sake, Pez!” He looks directly at Harry. It feels like his blue eyes are burning straight into Harry’s soul for a moment. “We need you to cut our damned strings. We don’t bloody know anyone else with the sight and we couldn’t really afford them if we did.”

Harry feels like he’s been hit in the face. He doesn’t cut strings not since….and he can’t anyway, not theirs, not Louis’s. He shuts his eyes tight and takes a deep breath in. “I…” he starts but he doesn’t know how to finish it. He can’t finish it. He can’t cut the strings…he can’t.

Perrie speaks up. “We just wanted to ask about it really. Ask if you even _could_ ,  and if ours can be tied to each other, maybe?” She sounds like she’s almost crying. “And if you can would you do it…for _me_ if for no other reason, Haz? Can you do this for _me_?”

Harry opens his eyes. “No.”

He looks directly at Louis who is looking right back at him with his burning anger. He asks, “No it can’t be done or no you just won’t do it, Harry?”

Harry doesn’t look at Perrie’s string this time. This time, for the first time in a long while, he looks down at Louis’s string. It’s bright, so bright it’s blinding, wrapping its way down Louis’s left arm, twining through his finger, stretching across the room. Harry lets his eyes follow it to where it meets his own fingers, goes into his own wrist, _he looks where it becomes their string_. “No, _I_ can’t.”

\----------

He doesn’t really remember getting up and walking out this time. Doesn’t remember walking all the way across London to his flat. He’d felt so numbed that he found himself crawling into his own bed before he realized he was even home.

When Zayn shakes him awake it’s nighttime. “Harry, wake up!”

He blinks his eyes open and looks into Zayn’s distressed face. “I don’t want to.” His voice is hoarse and he realizes he’s been crying in his sleep. It all comes rushing back to him in a heap and he swallows, “ _I can’t_ ”

“Harry get up. Perrie told me you walked all the way here, she said she ran after you for a block screaming at you and it’s like you didn’t even hear her. She’s worried. She said she called your phone all afternoon and you didn’t answer.”

Harry doesn’t care, he picks up his phone on the bedside table. It’s dead. “Phone’s dead so she’ll just have to worry then. Leave me be.” He rolls back over into his pillow.

Zayn shakes his shoulders, “I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me what the fuck is wrong!”

Harry sobs, he can’t help it. It comes out and shakes his shoulder harder than Zayn already is. “I said _I can’t_.”

Zayn stops shaking him, but his hands are still gently resting on Harry’s back. “God, Haz, what happened?”

Harry just lets out another sob, “They asked me, Zayn. They asked me to cut them.”

Zayn doesn’t ask for clarification. He knows what Harry means. “ _Fuck.”_

Harry feels like he can’t get a good breath in and he turns over to sit up, flinging Zayn’s hands off of him in the process. “I can’t. I can’t fucking do this anymore.” He gasps for air through his crying. “I’d rather die.”

Zayn stiffens, “No.” He says sternly, bringing his hand back down to Harry’s shoulder and squeezing it. “Whatever your reasoning is for not wanting to cut strings, I’ll respect it. I won’t question it. I can accept that it’s upsetting even though I don’t know why, but I won’t let you beat yourself down with it okay? There will be no ‘I want to die’ talk. You won’t go on any rampages and you won’t lose yourself over this okay? They can find someone else to do their dirty work.”

Harry squeezes his eyes shut. It’s true though, he’d rather die than cut the string on Louis’s end, and he knows that it’s going to be cut anyway and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. Zayn’s right, they can find someone else to do it, and they will. The thought is worse than a knife in the gut, and Zayn can’t understand that.

“You don’t know how bad it is, Zayn.” Harry says trying to detach Zayn’s grips from his shoulder.

Zayn doesn’t budge, “Then for fuck’s sake tell me how bad it is. You’re right. I don’t know how bad it feels, because I don’t have the sight. But I like to think whatever is eating you hurts just as bad as the thought of you doing something stupid hurts me.”

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but he just sobs again instead. It’s overdue time that he told Zayn everything. From cutting his parents strings to having to live knowing that Louis shares his soul bond. He just can’t make the words come out. “I can’t. I don’t know how to start.”

He hears Zayn sigh, but Harry keeps his eyes shut, still fighting the tears that haven’t stopped. “How about we start by making some tea, and maybe moving to the couch?” Zayn says.

Harry just nods, and lets his numb body be dragged off of the bed.

\------------

 It takes a solid hour for him to stop crying. Zayn makes the tea, and Harry’s first cup gets cold before he can drink it. Zayn just replaces it with a warm one, and sits quietly, patiently.

Harry finally pulls himself together enough to speak. “Thank you.”

Zayn just sips his tea. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Harry. You’re my best friend, besides Liam.” He pauses, “I just wish you’d open up to me.”

Harry clears his throat, he’s a bit hoarse now. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a while. It’s just not that simple.”

Zayn sits his cup down on the coffee table and leans forward. “It’s not going to get any simpler either, but as I said earlier I won’t push you. You can tell me tonight, or you could tell me three months from now, I just wish you’d talk about it.”

Harry takes a deep breath, and forces the words out with it. “I cut my parents soul string.” He pauses to take another breath, and to let Zayn cut in, but the other man remains silent letting Harry continue, “I was only four or five. I didn’t know what the strings were. My parents didn’t even know I had the sight. I guess I overheard something about the strings, and about cutting them. I don’t even remember, I just remember doing it, and watching it turn brown.”

He’s rushing through the story, “I didn’t understand until I was about eleven, and they’d been long divorced. When I finally told my mum, she wasn’t even mad, not even after all she’d went through because of me. She said she just wished she’d known I had the sight, so I wouldn’t have had to suffer alone.”

Zayn sits back and Harry can see the sympathy on his face, “I never thought about your parents being the reason you hated the strings. I mean, I knew they weren’t together, but I guess I always figured they were never bonded because you never talked about it. It makes sense though, with the way you react to things.”

Harry frowns, “The worst part is, if they’d known I could see them, if they’d known that I cut it, they could have guided me to tie it back together in time to save their bond.” He feels the tears threaten his eyes again, but stops them, “I’ll feel guilty about it the rest of my life.”

Zayn frowns to match him, “Maybe you should tell Louis and Perrie this.” He holds a hand up as Harry starts to protest, “I know it took everything in you to finally tell _me_ , but I think if they knew what your parents went through they might reconsider. I know Perrie would, she wouldn’t want to do that to the person on the other end of her string.”

Harry shakes his head and sits his tea cup down. “It’s pretty common knowledge that cutting soul bonds causes all kinds of anguish. I think she’s already thought about it and obviously so has Louis.” He bites his lip hard to keep his words from turning bitter. It’s useless. “They don’t care about the soul bonds or they wouldn’t be getting married.”

“They care about them, they just believe in free choice and changing fate and all that, Haz. You’ve known that about Perrie since high school.” Zayn says.

Perrie has always been pretty adamant about free choice. Her parents weren’t soulmates and they’d raised her to think soulmates were unnecessary, he just never thought her stance would affect him so closely. He never thought one of his best friends could hurt him so unintentionally.

“Even if I wanted to tell them, I don’t think I can stomach seeing either one of them right now, or maybe ever again.” Harry says, “It’s bad enough that I’ll know they’re strings are cut.”

Zayn picks his tea cup back up and sips it calmly. “I know they hurt you, but they’re your friends, some of your best friends. Until their relationship got more serious you and Louis almost became inseparable. For a while there, I thought you’d replace me with him.”

Harry winces. Of course, he’d tried to be close to Louis. It had worked well for a while, them being friends. It kept Perrie happy, but after a point Harry was just hurt. Louis was his soulmate, and as his and Perrie’s relationship deepened Harry had gotten less and less okay with it. It’s not like he could help it.

“Then I guess it’s good we had a falling out when we did. I wouldn’t want you to be jealous, Zayn.” Harry says in an attempt to lighten the mood, but there’s not much humor in it.

Zayn doesn’t buy it. “You literally let him accuse you of being Perrie’s _bitter secret soulmate_ because you kept getting more and more mopey, and then when you confirmed that you weren’t, Liam, Niall and I got to watch him slowly start resenting you for the fact that you can see the strings. He thinks you hate him so he hates you back. Explaining things might have helped.”

“I don’t hate him.” Harry says quietly.

“It sure seems like you do. Even Perrie thinks you don’t approve, which I mean you don’t, but not for the reasons they think.” Zayn says, “You have very valid reasons to want them to keep their soul bonds.”

Harry digs his fingers into his palms, Zayn has no idea how valid Harry’s reason are, “Explaining about my parents won’t help.” He pauses, weighing his words, “When they have their strings cut it’ll be a lot worse for me than when I cut my parents.”

Zayn narrows his eyes. “How do you know explaining your story won’t prevent them from doing it then? Why won’t you at least try?”

Harry knows Zayn is trying to be helpful. He knows Zayn doesn’t want to see Perrie and Louis cut their strings either, but he just doesn’t know the half of it. A small spark of annoyance flares in Harry’s stomach.

“I just _can’t_ , okay!” He snaps.

Zayn stiffens at Harry’s sudden malice, “If I didn’t know better I’d agree with Louis that every time you tell someone you c _an’_ t do something it means you _just don’t want to_!” He bites it out, “Liam, Niall and I have kept our mouths shut ‘cause we don’t have anything to back up our concerns, but _you_ do. You have the sight! You have experience with broken bonds! Perrie is already going out of her mind thinking she’s losing one of her best friends over this! How will you even know she gets her string cut if you refuse to fucking see her ever again?!”

Harry feels like his chest is shaking apart again. He spits, “I won’t know at all when Perrie cuts her damn string, but as soon as Louis cuts his I’ll fucking shatter! Okay!? My fucking string will turn brown and I’ll know all about it, because it’s the same goddamn string as his!”

He hears Zayn’s sharp intake of breath, but shuts his eyes and puts his head in his hands. The tears that stayed in the corners of his eyes this whole time, are beginning to spill again. “Louis is my fucking soulmate, and I’m going through the same hypothetical situation you imagined before you told Liam. Except it’s not hypothetical. It’s happening, and I’m not able to do anything about it but sit back and watch.”

There’s a long silence before Zayn responds.

“You have to tell them.”

Harry shakes his head, not raising it from his hands. “I don’t _have_ to do anything. This isn’t like you and Liam. I could have said something when they first started dating and I didn’t. I couldn’t take that from Perrie.” He pauses, “I did try to tell Louis once, but it wasn’t meant to happen.”

He doesn’t hear Zayn move but suddenly the other boy is sitting beside him. “It’s literally fate Harry how can it not be meant to be?”

Harrys breath shudders, “It was when we were getting super close. Perrie was away for that conference for two weeks, and I got to see what it was like to have Louis without her around. It sounds horrible, but I was happy about it at the time. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“Yeah, I remember that. I thought you and him were going to get a place together before he moved in with Pez.” Zayn says.

Harry nods, “We might have,” He pauses, “One morning, he’d came over to mine with breakfast and we were talking, and he said something about how he’d never had a friend like me, someone that he’d clicked so easily with. It would have been so easy to tell him, I almost did, it was on the tip of my tongue that it was so easy because we were soulmates. Then, he started talking about how wonderful it was that I was also Perrie’s best friend, and I couldn’t do it. He told me he planned to ask her to move in with him right after.”

Zayn tangles a hand in Harry’s hair forcing his head up. Harry opens his eyes to see Zayn’s expression. It is almost flat, but tinged with a mix of emotions including concern, and Harry thinks possibly pity.

“You need to tell him.”

Harry just shakes his head again. “I need to go to bed…for now.”

It isn’t a denial, but it might as well be.

\-----------

Zayn goes to see Liam after he’s convinced Harry will be okay alone. They’d been tense with each other ever since Harry’s big spill-all three nights ago. At least Zayn had left him alone for the most part, simply making sure he ate then letting Harry be.

Zayn plans to tell Liam about everything. Harry hadn’t asked him not to when Zayn had asked if he could. It just saves Harry the trouble of having to do it all again himself. He figures Liam will react much the same way Zayn had. He had made Zayn promise that neither him nor Liam would speak to Louis or Perrie about him, though. He will deal with that himself if he ever decides to.

He rolls over in bed and stares at the ceiling. His hair is matted where he hasn’t showered, plus the constant throbbing in his head is worse from crying so frequently. He peeks down at his hand where his string is.

It’s still red, _for now_. The thought of it turning brown sours his stomach and he sits up nauseous.

He’s making his way out into the hall towards the bathroom when someone knocks on the door. He stands still for a moment weighing his options. It’s not Zayn and Liam, because they have keys, but he figures they may have sent Niall to check on him.

As he approaches the door he wishes bitterly that they had a peephole. There’s another quick set of raps before he reaches the knob. He lets them fade before he turns it and opens the door.

When he’s met with Perrie on the other side, he almost closes it in her face, but his brain won’t let him.

She’s alone, thank god, and she’s desperately clutching a paper bag that smells like food.

“Oh thank goodness, Haz. Zayn said you were here alone, but I figured you wouldn’t answer the door.” She says in a rush.

He doesn’t move to let her in. “What do you want?”

She attempts a weak smile, “Can I come in? Just for a bit. I brought you some food.”

He still doesn’t move and her smile wavers a bit. “Look,” she says shakily, “I know you’re upset, but I really needed to apologize. You know how I am when I hurt people, and I’ve worried non-stop since you ran out.”

Harry doesn’t like to see her looking so worried, and the guilt mixes with his hurt to the point he finally moves aside.

She darts straight in before he can change his mind, and he just shuts the door and stands against it as she sits down on the couch and begins unloading the paper bag onto the coffee table.

She looks over at him when everything is set out, “I know a bit of food and an ‘I’m sorry’ aren’t going to fix this, but I at least had to try.”

He nods reluctantly and moves to sit in the chair across from her. “I probably owe _you_ an apology.” He says without thinking, “I’ve ruined dinner twice in a row.”

Perrie just silently scoops some chicken onto a paper plate and hands it to him. “You don’t owe me anything. I overstepped my bounds, and we both know it. I’ve known how you felt about soul bonds since I met you.”

The pang of discomfort punches back through his stomach as he accepts the plate. “Deep down I know you only asked me because I’m your friend, and you trust me, but if you came here to plead for me to change my mind I won’t” he says, voice catching on the last bit.

Perrie looks studiously at the ground and shakes her head. “I… I didn’t, Haz.” She pauses and wrings her hands, “Zayn told me about your parents.” She says quickly.

“He what—

She cuts him off quickly. “I know you told him not to, but he was just saving you the trouble because he knew that if I had known I would never have asked such a thing of you.” She turns to face him and he can see tears in her eyes, “But he also said that that wasn’t the reason you won’t cut the strings, that it was only part of it… and he said that I should probably talk to you about it.”

Harry can feel all the emotions mixing in his head again, and he does his best not to yell at her. “My… my parents aren’t… _I can’t do this_.”

He makes to stand up almost dropping the plate, and Perrie stands up with him. “Harry please!” She pleads, “I know Zayn didn’t have any business telling me, _but you’re my best friend_. If I had known none of this would have happened!”

Harry sets the plate on the table and tries to step around her, but she comes up in front of him and opens her mouth to plead again. He cuts her off this time getting in her face. “You might be my best friend Perrie, but you don’t know the fucking half of it, okay? I don’t give a shit what you do with your soul bond, I just don’t want any part of it.” He pauses as her lip quivers, surprisingly there aren’t any tears threatening his eyes.

She throws her hands up, “ _I don’t know the fucking half of it?”_ She yells, “Then maybe you should fucking tell me. You just said I’m your best friend, so don’t I deserve to know why you don’t want me to be happy?!

Harry scrubs a hand across his face in frustration, feeling his ears heat. “Of course, I want you to be happy! That’s why I’m trying to leave you and Louis the fuck alone!”

The tears are already running down Perrie’s cheeks, and she’s shaking. “How the hell will that make me happy?!” She roars, “I don’t want to lose my best friend over this! I don’t see why I have to! I know you’re hurt over mine and Louis’s decision, but you knew it’d end up this way since we started dating! I don’t care if you can’t cut our strings, I just don’t see why you can’t try to support us after! We aren’t your parents, we don’t want our soul bonds! It won’t be like them!”

Harry’s vision is blurring before she even finishes her tirade. _We aren’t your parents, we don’t want our soul bonds! It won’t be like them!_ It feels like the breath gets knocked out of him as the words settle in his mind.

“ _Louis is my soulmate_!” He explodes, pausing just long enough to see his words register, then throws his arms up to match her earlier gesture, “Are you fucking happy?! Now you know! You’re marrying _my_ soulmate. As if it’s not bad enough that I had to endure _him_ asking me to fucking cut _our_ soul bond, I’m also supposed to be supportive. _Well I can’t._ ”

He’s all the way in her face screaming, but he can’t bring himself to back off. Her mouth just gapes open as he continues. “Neither one of you want your soul bonds, but not once did either of you consider if the person on the other end does. Did you?”

Harry finishes in a huff and quickly turns his back on her, trying to put as much distance between them as possible.

He feels Perrie’s hand reach up to grab his shoulder. “Harry—

He jerks out of her grip and stomps over to the front door, slamming it open and turning back to face her.

He can see the regret on her face, the shock, the hurt, but none of it matters. “Get the fuck out of my house, Pez.”

She clamps her mouth shut and stands there for another moment, before she leaves without a word.

He knows he’ll deal with the aftermath later, but for now he just wants to be alone.

\------------

It takes exactly three hours for the aftermath to occur.

Harry is still numb when Louis comes to beat on the door. He’s showered, and ate the cold food Perrie had brought, and he waited.

He figured Zayn would call or show up with Liam, but they haven’t

Instead he opens the door to an irate Louis. To Louis’s credit he manages to stand there completely silent for a solid thirty seconds after Harry opens the door. The he shrieks and punches Harry straight in the mouth.

Harry accepts the blow, cupping his jaw and staggering back. He figures he deserves it at this point, and it doesn’t make his head hurt any worse.

Harry leans against the couch, using his black t-shirt to wipe the blood that runs off his now busted lip. He watches Louis step in and slam the door.

The shorter man’s face is red, and it looks like he’s cried. His hair is mussed, and his blue shirt is rumpled. Harry can’t help but think he’s beautiful, even if they hate each other right now.

Harry’s eye catches on their string, wrapped around Louis fist and arm, stretching down to crumple between them.

There’s a moment of silence, and Louis steps forward to hit Harry again, but stops short when Harry doesn’t even flinch.

“I can’t believe I was ever friends with you.” Louis spits the words like acid.

They’re not what Harry is expecting to hear first thing, so he stays silent.

Louis takes another step forward closing the space between them and plants a finger on Harry’s chest. “What the bloody hell did you say to Perrie?”

Harry does flinch now. So Perrie hasn’t told Louis. “I…” He starts but trails off.

Louis’s nostrils are flared and he’s standing so close. He brings his other fist up to Harry’s face and unfolds it palm up. “What the fuck did you say, Harry?” Harry looks at the ring that’s resting in Louis’s palm. “She told me there’s no way in hell she can marry me now, and I know it’s because of you.”

Harry looks from the ring to Louis’s eyes. Louis’s voice is deceptively even, but his blue eyes are watery and Harry is so torn between wanting to comfort him and wanting to run away. He wants to hate Louis, he wants to so bad, but the buzzing of the string at their feet won’t let him.

Louis pushes him with the hand still on his chest, and jars Harry to sit on the arm of the couch. “Answer me you fucking prick! Do you want her for yourself? You told me before she’s not your soulmate. Are you so demented with the sight that you can’t stand people not wanting to follow the fucking strings? What is it? Why did you—

Harry can’t take it anymore. He cuts Louis off by surging up and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. He hears the ring clink against the floor as it falls from Louis’s hand. Harry uses his grip to bring Louis closer.

Harry pauses when their noses are almost touching and breathes, “ _You’re my soulmate_.”

He doesn’t give Louis time to react or to struggle out of his hold. He just presses his mouth down on Louis’s. He figures Louis will fight him, so he takes advantage of Louis’s gasp of surprise and forces his tongue into Louis’s mouth.

For a moment the shorter man meets him, pushing his tongue back in a heated rage, and bringing a hand to grip in Harry’s long hair.

But it only lasts a moment before Louis uses that grip to tear them apart and push Harry back again.

They stand there panting, facing each other.

Louis’s eyes are wide and his chest is heaving. His face is a mask of pure shock for what feels like an eternity before it scrunches back up with anger. _“What the fuck?”_

Harry takes a step forward, moving to explain. “You’re my soulmate.” He says again, but Louis is already turning away from him and grappling for the door.

“Fuck you!” Louis yells as he flings the door open and practically runs out without closing it behind him.

Harry just stares after him for a while, before looking down to where Perrie’s ring still lays on the floor.

He’s made a mess of everything, and he has no will to clean it up.

\-----------

Empty Chinese takeout containers litter the floor, mingling with dirty socks and old pizza boxes. Harry hasn’t moved very far in so long that Zayn’s started to have date nights with Liam in the living room for fear of letting Harry out of his sight.

Harry’s only a bit tired of it. He sleeps, he eats, he just doesn’t do much else. He looks down at his soul string, it’s still intact. It’s dull though, and has been since Louis stormed out of his flat a month ago. He knows it means Louis isn’t in the same city, and from overhearing bits of Zayn and Liam’s conversations weeks ago, he gathers that Louis went home. _To Doncaster._ Far enough away for Harry to ache.

He doesn’t know where Perrie is, but he guesses she’s talked to Louis since the meltdown. Especially since she’s called so many times, and Harry doesn’t imagine it’s to apologize, no matter what Liam says. Harry briefly considers changing his number, but Zayn won’t let him. So, he settles for blocking texts and disabling voicemail. Niall told him once that he makes avoidance an art, but it’s hard not to avoid the mess he’s made.

 _Louis will probably avoid him forever._ He thinks about Perrie’s ring that he stashed in the drawer of his night stand. Louis hadn’t come back for it, nor had he asked Zayn to retrieve it. Harry doesn’t know why he even picked it up, he supposes to make himself feel even worse.

His phone buzzes as he’s thinking about it. He holds his breath as he looks at the screen, but it’s just Zayn asking if he can come into Harry’s room.

Harry’s sends back, “If you’re alone.” And waits for the door to crack open.

It does, ever so slowly, with Zayn stepping quietly into the room. “What do you mean if I’m alone?” Zayn questions quietly.

Harry grunts into his pillow, “Yesterday, when you went to get groceries, I let Liam and Niall in here and they both tried to give me a not-so-subtle lecture about reaching out to those I care for.”

Zayn snorts. “I take it you aren’t willing to listen?”

Harry shakes his head and turns to face Zayn. “No. So I don’t suggest you try it either.” He says calmly.

Zayn just looks at him. “I’ve left you alone for a month, Haz.”

“I’d appreciate it if you continued to do so.”

Zayn steps closer, “You know, I’ve known you for half my life.”

Harry recognizes the beginning of a speech coming on and sighs, pushing himself up to sit and bear it. “And?”

“And nothing,” Zayn says, coming to sit beside him, “I’m just saying I know you. I know you well enough to know that you don’t give up easily, and frankly, I’m frustrated with you right now.”

“ _You’re_ frustrated?” Harry counters. “I—

“ _Yes,_ I’m frustrated!” Zayn cuts him off, “So is Niall, so is Liam. We know what happened, Harry. Even if you won’t fucking talk about it. Perrie is going out of her mind, and I know Liam has relayed how much she wants to apologize. I’ve just never known you to hold yourself in a big giant pile of self-pity for this bloody long!”

Harry feels his face heat. “You know good and well it’s not that fucking simple, Zayn! You don’t get it!”

Zayn huffs, “No, I get it!” He pauses, then presses his palm to his forehead as though he’s got a headache. “You know what?! I get that you’re hurt and that’s perfectly normal and _fine_. But if you want to be petty about it and not even try to fix this shit-fest, that believe it or not is affecting _all of us_ , I’m going to be petty right back.”

Harry knows there’s merit to Zayn’s words, but he doesn’t care. He just narrows his eyes and goes to reply, but Zayn holds a hand up to shush him and then stands. Harry just watches him, fuming a bit, but unwilling to fight him anymore.

Zayn moves fast, and yanks the blankets right out from under Harry. Even if Harry hadn’t already given up, he’d be too surprised to react.

His best friend proceeds to walk to the window and yank down Harry’s blackout curtains, rod and all, before marching to the door.

Zayn turns back to face Harry, who still hasn’t protested, and makes a display of wadding all the fabric in his arms together.

“Perrie is having dinner tonight.” Zayn says still huffing, “She says she needs you there to hear what she has to say. So, either you decide to _do something._ Or you can buy all new fabrics, because I’m not above lighting _these_ on fire.” He says, shaking the curtains and blankets violently as he backs out of Harry’s room.

When the door shuts behind him with a slam, Harry flops back down on the bed. Realistically he’s angry, but he knows Zayn’s ridiculous display was staged out of concern. He _has_ wallowed for a month. He’s had a right to.

And he’s been content with it. It’s just so much easier than the alternative. He doesn’t know how to begin healing the hurts he’s suffered and has caused. He doesn’t know how to talk to Perrie after ruining her relationship and rejecting her views. He can’t begin to even think about how to—and doesn’t want to—face Louis.

He considers that battle lost, but at least the other man knows the truth.

That’s one thing Harry’s figured out in the month he’s had to think about everything that was said and done. He can’t regret telling Louis.

It was inevitable he guesses, it’s fate after all.

Harry sighs and presses his palms to his eyes, sitting back up.

It sucks to realize Zayn and the others are right. He’ll never know if it can all be fixed if he doesn’t try.

\-------------

The car ride is silent. The full twenty minutes it takes to get to Perrie’s, Harry just sits quietly in the back seat of Liam’s car; waiting. He’s waiting for anything really.

Both of them had simply nodded and said nothing when he’d come out of his room, showered and dressed, and met them at the door to leave.

They hadn’t started awkward small talk, they didn’t discuss Zayn’s earlier tirade and neither of them lectured him on how glad they were that he is doing this.

He waits for it all the way to dinner, but it never happens. He can’t feel relieved though, because he’s too tense.

He hangs back as Zayn and Liam knock on Perrie’s door. He’s so anxious he feels it in the skin of his palms, and he can already taste the regret forming in his throat.

Before he can decide to retreat, Perrie opens the door, and her eyes somehow land directly on him. He takes in a sharp breath at the same time she does. He registers the shock on her face. So, Zayn and Liam hadn’t given her a heads up that he’d decided to join them.

It only lasts a moment though before she plasters on a smile and almost whispers, “Good to see you, Haz.” Before ushering all three of them inside to where Niall is already seated at the table.

The Irishman doesn’t act at all surprised when Harry rounds the corner behind Liam and Zayn, and just throws his arms up in the air.

“Holy fucking _finally._ ” The blonde man exclaims, “I’ve been here half an hour and Perrie wouldn’t let me even _taste_ anything ‘til you lot got here!”

Niall pulls out the seat beside him for Harry, and Harry takes it, watching Perrie at the stove.

She lifts a lid on a large pot and stirs whatever is inside. “For god’s sake, Niall. I’ve never let anyone eat early in my house. We all eat together or not at all. Those are the rules.” She says nonchalantly.

Harry looks over at Zayn, who lets out a soft laugh. No one else seems as tense as Harry is, but he knows it’s all a front. A grand attempt at ignoring the elephant in the room. The empty spot where Louis would normally sit catches his eye and his stomach drops.

Liam interrupts his thoughts before he can even have any. “Well, since no one else is going to mentions it, I guess I will.” He pauses and Harry holds his breath as Liam continues, “That doesn’t smell like chicken.”

Harry breathes out in obvious relief. He thought Liam was going to start the inevitable conversation, break this weird mold of ‘pretending nothing has happened.’ Harry squirms in his seat a bit, wishing he hadn’t let them talk him into this, _wishing he hadn’t talked himself into this._

Perrie pulls the ladle out of the pot and sets it down. “It’s _not_ chicken.” She says, and it’s almost hesitant the way she continues, “I needed to try something different… so I made spaghetti.”

Everyone falls silent again, the unease finally slipping through. Perrie is a very consistent person. They’ve had one dinner together every week since they’d entered uni, and it has always been chicken. There were two things Harry knows Perrie has always been adamant about; free choice and _chicken for dinner_.

He can’t shake the feeling that everything is going to go down from here, and that it’s all his fault, even if that thought isn’t realistic.

Perrie doesn’t give him time to keep worrying though. She simply clears her throat and motions for everyone to get a plate. Niall takes a hesitant bite right from the pot before he loads his plate all the way full.

“I’ve never been much for spaghetti, but it seems a lot like you can cook anything, Pez.” Niall states as he sits down.

Zayn and Liam nod their agreement over their own plates, but Harry just shuffles his fork through his. He knows it’s good food, but the ache in his stomach makes it too unbearable to eat.

It’s Perrie herself that finally breaks the tension.

“I…” She starts, but stops to clear her throat again, “I know it feels like there’s an elephant in the room guys, but I’m glad you all came.” She looks at Harry directly when she states the last part.

Harry lays his fork down, “I—

He begins but she holds up a hand, “Please let me talk for a bit, I have something important to say. Both to you, Harry, and to the rest.”

Everyone at the table simultaneously stops eating, and Harry is sure he’s not the only one reliving the last time she said those words.

Perrie looks considerably more nervous as she speaks this time though. “I want to start out by saying I’m sorry.” She says quietly, “Especially to you Harry. I said some things I shouldn’t have and there’s not really an excuse.”

She shifts in her chair and Harry’s sinking feeling grows a bit. He prays it is just his anxiety mixing with the fact that he doesn’t want to be here.

Perrie continues, voice threatening to crack. “But the past month has given me some time to figure out some things…about myself and about everything that happened. Well… I don’t really know how to say it other than that Louis and I have settled our differences at least, and he even helped me out a bit in settling the rest of my life as well.” She pauses to survey their reactions. Harry lets it sink in slowly that she’s spoken to Louis. His brain fogging over with dread at the mere mention of the other man.

Zayn taps a finger on the table uncomfortably. “I feel like there’s a point to this, Pez, but I wish you’d go ahead and get to it. I think I can speak for the rest of us when I say we’re uneasy. The last time you announced something at dinner we kind of ended up where we are.” He says rather bluntly. “I’m not saying cut to the chase, but…” he trails off.

Perrie winces and Harry can see her quiver a bit with nerves, but she manages to speak again. “I-I… _I found my soulmate.”_ She stutters, but somehow manages to say the last bit with a strong push.

There’s not any collective gasps as her words settle over them, and the tension doesn’t magically lift itself, much to Harry’s dismay. Liam sits back in his chair a bit, and Niall shifts to crossing his legs, but no one reacts in any other way. Just silence.

Harry plays the words over in his head a few times before he forces himself to look down at her string. _It looks brighter than before_. He hadn’t noticed earlier, he’d been too focused on making it through dinner and facing her.

He brings himself to finally ask, “How?”

Perrie looks down at the table, “Well, after…everything…and what you told me, I decided I couldn’t go on like I was.” She straightens her napkin a bit, “It sounds awful, but something inside me felt like it twisted and snapped as soon as I could fully comprehend what you had said. It woke me up in the _worst_ kind of way. Of course, you know what I did, at least partially. I told Louis I couldn’t be with him anymore because somewhere between leaving your place and arriving here I had decided I could never forgive myself if I married my best friend’s soulmate.”

Harry can feel the others staring, silent witnesses to the current exchange. He releases a breath he wasn’t aware he held. “You didn’t tell him the real reason, though.”

Perrie just shakes her head. “I knew when he stormed out he was going to you to get answers. I figured you were the only one who should tell him something like that.”

Harry remembers Louis barging in, the yelling, the ring, the kiss, all with perfect clarity. He also remembers the pure shock and disbelief on Louis’s face when he’d left. He thinks Perrie could have done a better job of releasing the information, but he’s glad she didn’t. Louis may not have ever faced him if he’d already known.

“Thank you.” Is all Harry manages to say. He means it at least.

\----------

Dinner ends well. After it all settles, Harry thinks he and Perrie are on better terms now. She was careful not to focus on Louis after the first bit. She even explained how she sought out a girl she used to know with the sight, and that’s how she tracked down her soulmate.

She apologized for not waiting for Harry to help her, and he feels a bit guiltier about not answering her calls all month. But in the end, everyone congratulates her, after all, she’s found her soulmate and she’s happy about it.

Harry can’t be bitter about that.

Perrie texts him the next morning and invites him out for coffee. She wants everyone to meet her soulmate individually, and Harry gets to be first.

He still has to force himself accept the offer.

The bloke, named Olly, seems pretty nice. The string between he and Perrie glows even brighter than Liam and Zayn’s. When they part, Harry congratulates them, even if its laced with a bit of envy. Perrie has her other half, and Harry’s is still gone.

\-----------

He’s just getting back to his flat when he notices the sticky note on the door.

Harry plucks the little square off the door knob; it reads:

_Went to Liam’s. I let him in, but please don’t kill me. – Zayn._

Harry can’t make sense of it. He figures Zayn means he’s let Niall in to eat their food and crowd their living room like usual, but he doesn’t get why he couldn’t just write that.

When he opens the door, it’s not Niall that greets him. Harry’s got half a sentence out about how Niall better not have eaten all the crisps, when his eyes land on brown hair and blue eyes that are decidedly not Niall’s.

 _Louis_.

Harry’s limbs freeze, his hand stills where it was tugging the key back out of the lock, and if feels like his lungs try to collapse as the breath rushes out of him.

Louis is looking at him and his face is a blank mask. He looks like he’s waiting for Harry to speak and when he doesn’t Louis just sort of waves.

“Do you think you can make tea or something like old times?” Louis asks and it sounds so flat Harry’s chest aches harder. “I need something to calm down.”

Harry just continues standing there unable to move forward.

Louis sighs, “I didn’t come here to fight, or to confront you if that’s what you think. I just came here to talk I swear.” He pauses, “I mean it was inevitable that we’d have to do it eventually and I managed to put it off for a month so we’re doing it today. However, I really would like that tea first.”

This time Harry feels himself nodding, as he steps forwards and shuts the door almost on autopilot.

His brain is running on hyper speed as he enters his kitchen and begins making the tea. He’s running over what Louis’s said, and trying to still the absolute panic building in his gut.

Louis doesn’t follow him into the kitchen at least, so it gives him time to calm down before he reenters the living room.

Louis is still just sitting on the couch looking blankly ahead at the TV.

He smiles shakily up at Harry, when he accepts the warm cup. Harry almost drops his own as he sits down beside him, but not overly close.

Harry doesn’t know what to think. His thoughts are still rushing and he’s so trapped in his head that he almost misses it when Louis starts talking.

“I should have known you know?” Louis says, his voice way too calm for the situation Harry thinks. “Like…that we were soulmates, I mean.”

Harry shakily sets his tea down. He feels like he’s moving through water; the fact that Louis is here seems so surreal. The buzzing in the back of his skull lets him know he’s not dreaming. The strings are always quiet in his dreams, and his and Louis’s is ever present right now. It’s twisting and glowing and curling around both of them before attaching to their respective hands. He appreciates the sight, since he thought he’d never see the other end of it again.

Another moment of silence passes before Harry convinces himself he should speak since he hasn’t yet. “W-why do you…what makes you say that?” He manages.

Louis hums a bit on his next sip of tea. “Just…” He trails off and sits his own cup beside Harry’s before turning to fully face him.

Harry watches the other man take a deep breath before continuing. “I went home you know? Right after you told me. I couldn’t make sense of anything, and I was so convinced that you were lying. I literally convinced myself you had to be delusional, that you just missed our friendship or something, but I couldn’t figure out why you’d do something so extreme just because of that. So I packed up and went home.” He pauses and Harry looks down at the table.

“I did miss our friendship.” Harry says quietly.

Louis nods. “Me too.”

“Why’d you go home?” Harry asks, even though he knows the answer. He’d goes home himself when he’s distressed, to his mom.

“It was the only place to go.” Louis answers. “That’s not the point though. I told my step-dad I was coming because Perrie and I broke up, but he knew better. Almost as soon as I got there I could tell he knew it was something else.” Louis pauses and looks down, “He didn’t pressure me to tell him, but he did remind me of something.”

Harry watches the mask start to fade, and Louis looks sad. “What?”

Louis looks back up to meet Harry’s eyes. “That he and my mum were soulmates.”

Harry knows this. It’s one of the first things Louis has ever opened up to him about. He’d told Harry all about his mum, and how she’d tried so hard not to believe in soulmates. How she’d bounced around, and had a few husbands, but was never truly happy even though she’d loved them, and loved the children she’d gotten from them. Louis had told him how it had affected his childhood watching his mom punish herself for never being brave enough to just cut her string.

Then Louis’s mom had met Dan, while she was with her last boyfriend. Harry remembers Louis laughing through the story about how his mom had absolutely hated Dan, and then after months of knowing him, one of his mom’s friends had informed them that they were soulmates. Dan had already known. They fought for a solid year before Louis’s mom had realized her heart had given up the fight. Louis said he’d never seen her as happy as she was when she married Dan.

That had been another moment Harry had almost told Louis about their own bond. He should have, then before any other time. It might have changed things.

Louis brings him back out of his thoughts. “He told me what it felt like for him when she kept denying the bond.” Louis’s voice cracks a bit, “The he told me what it felt like when she passed. What it felt like to have his string lose color and disappear.” He pauses and Harry can see tears threatening the corners of his eyes, but he has no way to comfort him right now. “He said he wished he had told immediately, as soon as he had met her, since he knew they were bonded. He said every moment he spent knowing she was his soulmate, and not being able to have her, was agony. He told me he’d give up anything in this world to go back and have more time with her as his.”

Louis’s crying now and Harry wants nothing more than to reach out and hug his friend, his soulmate, but he doesn’t. He just folds his hands together and says, “I’m so sorry.”

Louis shakes his head. “No.” He reaches out for his tea cup and then stops, “I was going to make you cut our string.”

“It’s not your fault you didn’t even—

Harry begins to make an excuse for it but Louis cuts him off.

“You knew since the moment you laid eyes on me, and you were somehow able to still become my best friend.” Louis says, “I can’t imagine what it felt like for you, but Dan made me think that I’ve probably put you through the worst kind of hell. So I’m the one that should be sorry, Harry.”

Harry swallows around a lump in his own throat. “It’s fine.”

It’s not fine, but the knot in his gut isn’t getting worse, just having Louis near him again feels worlds better than it has in a long time.

Louis wipes under his own eyes, “It’s not fine, though. You were the best friend I’d ever been able to make. I remember wondering how anyone could click so easily, and I should have fucking known. No one clicks the way we did unless they’re bonded. I suppose I knew that, but forced it out of my own head.”

“I could have told you a hundred times, but I didn’t think it would have made a difference.” Harry states, trying to sway the blame. It’s his fault, not Louis’s.

Louis snorts, “I suppose I would have reacted the exact same way. And who knows,” He tosses his hands up in exasperation, “if fate controls soul bonds maybe it controls everything else too. So maybe we played this out exactly how fate bloody wanted.”

Harry thinks fate is the cruelest ruler life can bow to, and he’s witnessed that too much. But he says, “Who knows?”

Louis laughs, and it’s a gross sound where he’s been crying. Then he thrusts his hand in front of himself, toward Harry. “Where does our string connect? I read somewhere that it’s usually the left to the right hand, so that when soulmates face each other or hold hands it connects directly.”

Harry nods, and looks at Louis outstretched hand. The string comes out of it and connects to Harry’s right. He reaches out his own and dares to lace his fingers through Louis’s own. They’ve already made it this far, there aren’t any boundaries left to push.

“Your left to my right.” Harry says barely above a whisper.

Louis isn’t crying anymore but he still looks vulnerable. “So, what do you say?”

Harry feels his own eyes water a bit. “What do you mean?”

Louis smiles softly. “I just figured,” He says lifting their conjoined hands in front of them, “we should give fate a chance?” He finishes timidly.

Harry feels his stomach clench before the knot that has sat in it for a month completely unfurls. “Y-yeah?”

Louis nods, “Yeah.”

Things haven't felt fine in so long, and Harry knows it will be a bit rocky, but maybe, Harry thinks, just maybe, it can turn out alright.

\-------------

It takes a while. There’s no sudden happiness, and it doesn’t go easy for the first few weeks. It’s difficult to explain to the others, and there’s so much rigidity at the next dinner.

Perrie tries to make a cake to celebrate, but it falls flat. There’s a new layer of tension where the past collides with the future over more chicken, and everyone attempts small talk, failing occasionally. Everyone is paired up now, even Niall who announces that he’s been seeing someone, a girl who also no longer has a soulmate.

Somehow, the awkward silences stop after the first hour, and they proceed into normalcy.

The buzzing in the back of Harry’s skull is easier to bear now that he can focus on his own string without feeling so constantly strained.

He places a hand between Louis’s shoulders occasionally when they stiffen up, and Louis no longer flinches away.

Liam and Zayn have decided to get a place together, and that allows Louis and Harry to finally try living together.

Perrie gets a new ring from Olly, and Louis has already pawned the old one after he found it in Harry’s night stand.

It’s slow and it’s not perfect, but in the end, it works.

Fate has a funny way of doing that, after all.

**_FIN._ **

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'll post where to find me when the author's are revealed. (someone may have to remind me)  
> For my last fic in this fandom i think it was okay, if very difficult to finish. So sorry about the rushed ending but it's all i had in me.
> 
> Edit: I know a few people left comments about it not leaving them feeling happy and about wanting harry to have more happiness. (And saying they regretted reading. I deleted the comments cause I don't want negativity on this story)
> 
> But honestly that wasn't the point of this and I'm sorry people missed that and hated it. :( I wish it could have been better but it reflects what I wanted it to at the time.


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